Craigslist missed connection musical dedication
Be the Edward to my Bella (Dallas)
Date: 2010-08-11, 4:10PM CDT
Reply to: gigs-6wpak-1893560318@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
My aunt just died and left me some cash with instructions to blow it however I want. Not into drugs. Fucking LOVE Twilight. Also, a lesbian. It’s relevant, I swear.
I’m sure this ad will get me some creepers, but it might be worth it.
I will pay you $50 an hour to act like Edward for me. My schedule is flexible, and it would only be a few hours a week. I do NOT want any sex or kissing, but some platonic cuddling would be nice. You need to physically resemble Edward to some degree. You need to put on some sort of sparkly stuff on your face before hand. I’ll ask you to hold ice for a while (not a dangerous while) so that when you touch me your hands are cold.
I’m going to be clumsy, and you’re going to stare at me and tell me how awesome I am and treat me amazingly. If you can quote the book/act out small scenes with me I’ll even pay you more.
I know this is stupid, but this book is the first time I’ve understood being attracted to any guy, and I want to play with it. Reminder: this is NOT SEXUAL. It’s an emotional itch that I can now afford to scratch.
Please send me a picture to confirm that you somewhat resemble Edward (hair length/color, skin color, build of body are most important). If you wear glasses you’ll need to be able to function without them. I’m willing to buy you the right outfits so don’t worry about clothes.
Serious replies only.
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SERIOUS. REPLIES. ONLY.
